Swollen Tongues @ The Theatre in the Mill - Bradford, Friday April 26th
Written by Kathleen Oliver and Performed by The Off The Cuff Theatre Company

"Although I really like the theatre I don’t often go, mainly because it tends to be expensive and I don’t know anything about plays! So, free tickets for a Friday night one off performance were not to be missed, so off we went to Bradford….

The Theatre in the Mill is a tiny building tucked away in the heart of the (surprisingly green) campus of Bradford Uni (signposted from all major roads into the city). And I do mean tiny… the foyer/bar/ticket booth could take 20 people max, but was wonderfully decorated with posters, information, reviews, quotes etc. At 7.25 a cheery man with a big hand bell announced that the show was about to begin and off we trooped to the tiny auditorium – consisting of a few tiered benches and a miniscule floor/stage. Intimate is the word! We crept to the back for fear of feeling as if we were actually IN the play, once we had accustomed ourselves this only added to the charm of the place.

So, the play itself….

"Written entirely in rhymoing couplets, SWOLLEN TONGUES is a contemporary take on Restoration comedy - with a twist!" - said the Press Release

Well, there’s this brother and sister, they’re learning poetry from a tutor, Dr Wise. The brother produces a load of prolific nonsense inspired by his sister’s feisty Scottish dressmaker, who he’s madly in love with. She hates him and loves the work of a mystery poet. The sister can’t write a single word (or so it seems) and is also secretly madly in love with the dressmaker (cue hilarious dress fitting scene), but terrified into hiding her passions by rumours of a woman was once ousted for her forbidden sexual tendencies. Then it turns out that the sister has been taking her brother’s awful sonnets and rewriting them to produce the book her beloved dressmaker goes into raptures over…… a confused web of intrigue and sexual frustration prevails….are you following me? Good, it gets better!

The dressmaker is a bit of a goer and decides to give this new lesbian thing a go – ‘why not’. It later transpires that Dr Wise is actually a woman, the suppressed lesbian who was outed long ago, and she too is madly in love with the sister! Phew, what on earth will happen next?!

The second half finds the increasingly hot-in-the-pant-department sister and the dressmaker in a creepy old house, which turns out to be ‘Dr Wise’s old lesbian haven – ‘a women only place’. Jumping a bit further, we find the bumbling brother dressed as a woman, his sister falling for him, the dressmaker conspiring in all directions and running away from the sister’s increasingly steamy advances and the sister gagging for it!

Confused? – well actually we weren’t. This was a hilarious, cross dressing, gender bending romp with a whole load of complex twists and turns, and a happy ending to boot performed by four fantastic actors who were obviously enjoying themselves as much as we were. It was a very involving performance, I was totally lost in it and came out laughing and feeling invigorated. The humour came not just from the cross dressing confusion but also the rhyming couplets in which the entire play was written (you try rhyming something with elastic in an amusing way which fits your plot line!). I also have to praise whoever designed the costumes, which were a complex mix of male and female – dresses made from trousers and blouses from ties – a perfect accompaniment to the general gender confusion!

Thank you Theatre in the Mill and Off the Cuff for a fantastic Friday night out – I will be back!" - Catherine Tonge

Unfortunately this was a one off in Bradford but the play is putting in appearances in places from Brighton to Blackburn over the next few weeks – go see it if you can!

May 2nd - 4th - Ustinov Studio @ The Theatre Royal Bath

May 7th - 9th - Palace Theatre Westcliffe

May 10th - Portsmouth Arts Centre

May 11th - Trinity Theatre, Tunbridge Wells

May 13th - Darwen Library Theatre Blackburn

May 15th - 16th - Netherbow Arts Centre Edinburgh

May 17th - 18th - Ramshorn Theatre, Glasgow

May 23rd - The Bull Barnet

May 24th - 25th - The UCL Bloomsbury London